This post was gonna be a toss-up between the best blowjob ever and this... well, i guess one will have to wait for the best blowjob ever for a bit! (gentlemen, we're used to that kinda waiting...)
Women Rules
(this has been intentionally framed to create confusion as to what I mean)
- NEVER tell them they look fat. EVER.
- Never pay them more than 3 compliments in a row. She'll think you wanna get into her pants. She probably knows anyway... but giving her that fourth compliment always seems to unreasonably make them suddenly feel like it's wrong that you want to!!!
- If you cant get to some level of action by date 4. Give up. Not happening. Sorry buddy.
- NEVER tell them they look fat. EVER. SERIOUSLY.
- If she ever tells you, you're not gonna get any from her even before you've even tried... she's totally gonna give you some! but then again, keep in mind rule 3.
- Never wrest control. Unless, it's love. If it's love, let go. But slowly, one step at a time.
- Don't be a doormat. Don't be needy. Don't be aloof. Don't be available. Don't be possessive. Don't get too attached. Don't get your priorities wrong. Don't lie. Don't tell her the brutal truth, BUT tell her the truth. Don't tell her how to drive. Don't tell her your busy. Don't get too drunk. Don't forget what she does (assuming you remembered to ask...else ask, and then don't forget!). Don't forget her name. Don't call her by the wrong name. If you can do half of these, give me a buzz, cos i wanna know how.
- First and Second dates need to be fun, laughter, flirting and some amount of physical contact. Physical contact is super important. Even if you wanna take it slow. Often girls decide if they like you based on how they feel about your touch. You have to find a way to make women touch n linger... EVENTUALLY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO JUST WATCH SPORTS AT HOME AFTER MAKING OUT. Hang in there.
- Pay attention. It helps. I know, even I thought this was unreasonable.
- Get tested. Make sure you're clean. Especially if she's special and especially if you've had several partners. No two ways to this one.
- Hold the door open for her... always drop her home if it's after 11pm... tell her she looks nice when she does... hold her hand when she needs you to... protect, care for and respect her... buy her flowers... you have to write her a poem atleast once... cook... surprise her. Basically, be a man.
- You have to learn how to make her reach the big O. Sometimes, i've known women who have told me that they don't mind men who can't do this...but i really feel like you're depriving her of something she ought to feel. And by god, she's gonna laugh at you if she ever goes there later with someone else... or worse, on her own.
- Make her life better. Make it better for her.
- Always be proud of her. If you can't, she isn't the one (there are some exceptional circumstances when one can't go public and well, one doesn't really need to... but you may know in your head). Don't mislead her. Never tell a girl you don't love that you do.
- Stand up for her. Do whatever it takes to help her. Even if it means it's not what you want.
ok, so obviously I don't follow my own rules much. But, I try.
PS - 16. always be safe. And if the mood is right, even gentle!
The sunscreen song!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the small list we had back in manipal...though the objective of that list was quiet different
ReplyDelete