Max can't get up... but he lies down playfully and whines everytime i take a break from petting him. Max is my cousin's German Shepard. A really magnificent dog who looks almost like a wolf with the heart of a really eccentric loyal human... when he first sees someone he doesn't trust them at all: watching silently from a distance or sometimes even attacking... yet eventually with time (it takes a few days atleast) he starts to warm up to you... and it's strange cos it feels like you were courting a girl and she's suddenly given in... the kinda affection you tend to value more...
So Max is growing old now and has a spinal cord problem that makes him find it painful to walk... it's heartbreaking to see a magnificent, strong beast struggle to simply take a few strides... and that's when sometimes it dawns on you that life changes... it choicelessly moves in a singular direction. always. every moment.
Max will probably get the best treatment, love, care and affection... and recover as well. I really do believe he will.
This post wasn't meant to be about Max. Instead, the point of this post was to essentially point out how every new thing choicelessly moves towards its end in every moment. How every end is as destined as every beginning.
Our close ones will someday pass on. We will too. Relationships we love... will end. Close friends that matter today, may not tomorrow. Endeavors we spend hours upon, will cease to have even a presence... such is the essence of life. It moves on.
Yet, we celebrate most beginnings... and the ends leave us empty. I hate endings. I find them impossible to accept or come to terms with. Nothing seems to matter after...
What then is the point of anything, if it is to definitely, choicelessly, undoubtedly, infinitely, come to a halting, complete obliteration at some point? This single question, leaves me with a haunting loneliness... one of knowing, that I am my only constant.
Alone with change .
And the certain inevitable.
In the end, it's over.
aside - i know i started out wanting to write posts that captured moments of happiness and ones that I wanted to remember to serve as inspiration... but i guess eventually writing about sad emotions has also had its mild healing touch... and so I guess I will give myself the luxury of continuing to do so... I hope you will too :)
So Max is growing old now and has a spinal cord problem that makes him find it painful to walk... it's heartbreaking to see a magnificent, strong beast struggle to simply take a few strides... and that's when sometimes it dawns on you that life changes... it choicelessly moves in a singular direction. always. every moment.
Max will probably get the best treatment, love, care and affection... and recover as well. I really do believe he will.
This post wasn't meant to be about Max. Instead, the point of this post was to essentially point out how every new thing choicelessly moves towards its end in every moment. How every end is as destined as every beginning.
Our close ones will someday pass on. We will too. Relationships we love... will end. Close friends that matter today, may not tomorrow. Endeavors we spend hours upon, will cease to have even a presence... such is the essence of life. It moves on.
Yet, we celebrate most beginnings... and the ends leave us empty. I hate endings. I find them impossible to accept or come to terms with. Nothing seems to matter after...
What then is the point of anything, if it is to definitely, choicelessly, undoubtedly, infinitely, come to a halting, complete obliteration at some point? This single question, leaves me with a haunting loneliness... one of knowing, that I am my only constant.
Alone with change .
And the certain inevitable.
In the end, it's over.
aside - i know i started out wanting to write posts that captured moments of happiness and ones that I wanted to remember to serve as inspiration... but i guess eventually writing about sad emotions has also had its mild healing touch... and so I guess I will give myself the luxury of continuing to do so... I hope you will too :)
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