Growing old alone has been something I've feared sometimes... Illness, eccentricity, loss of reality, delusions, becoming senile, loneliness, inability to enjoy and do so many things... It's scary.
But then there are so many other things that I guess its difficult to fathom - collective wisdom, the immense growth in character, the pleasure in the small things...
But I'd like to share 4 different examples of ageing I've seen in my life...
The Lady Downstairs
Every morning I can hear her moans (which are really screams that she unsuccessfully attempts thanks to her ill-health) as she keeps calling out to someone... In the past she would sit with her door ajar and ask everyone who walked by what time it was... and then would attempt to make small talk as she repeated everything you said... her brain would slowly seem to process this information and yet the next time you saw her she asked you the same questions... Her son/nephew is a foul-mouthed, uncouth person who works in the middle east and she has another extremely old lady (albeit in slightly better health but senile nevertheless) and a maid during the day for company. Once upon a time they called me into their house to see some seepage and there was a sickening hospital-like odour in the house...
It scares me.
Cuddles
Cuddles is an aged Labrador... She belongs to a friend. Rather she was inherited by a friend after her father passed away. Cuddles was her father's dog. Well actually, her father's friend's dog. So now Cuddles grows old with little love or affection and is a reminder of so many memories that aren't wanted. And while there is the sanitary 'taking care' that is done to care of her... the truth is, she isn't really wanted. She wasn't by choice. But now they cope with her. They aren't bad people at all. In fact, quite the opposite. But she just doesn't happen to be what they wanted... and they don't have a choice. So, they cope.
I've felt sad for cuddles.
Chinna Patiamma
Chinna Patiamma just celebrated her centenary birthday surrounded by family and friends in October. She is a cynosure of affection for her family. She is active, extremely positive in her outlook, vibrant and so so so affectionate. She refers to me as one of her own grandchildren. In typical fashion as most elders in India she blesses me every time she sees me... We chat and laugh. I tease her about her 'fashionable' haircut and how we should go out together sometime...
I can't fathom how she does it. She's over a 100 years old!
Uncle, a friend's dad
He lost his wife early this year, suffers from acute diabetes, has a few toes and a foot amputated, has very limited sight, needs dialysis twice a week and so many more health issues... But he is one of the most vibrant and happy people you will ever meet. He exudes confidence and charm. Every time you meet him, he has fascinating stories of his travels around the world to tell you about and several insights into everyday life. He smiles from within. And even through all of his health issues, he is the rock that gives his children emotional support. When you meet him you feel such a strong sense of purpose and general amazement at life that it cant help but leave you inspired.
I really like spending time with uncle...
But then there are so many other things that I guess its difficult to fathom - collective wisdom, the immense growth in character, the pleasure in the small things...
But I'd like to share 4 different examples of ageing I've seen in my life...
The Lady Downstairs
Every morning I can hear her moans (which are really screams that she unsuccessfully attempts thanks to her ill-health) as she keeps calling out to someone... In the past she would sit with her door ajar and ask everyone who walked by what time it was... and then would attempt to make small talk as she repeated everything you said... her brain would slowly seem to process this information and yet the next time you saw her she asked you the same questions... Her son/nephew is a foul-mouthed, uncouth person who works in the middle east and she has another extremely old lady (albeit in slightly better health but senile nevertheless) and a maid during the day for company. Once upon a time they called me into their house to see some seepage and there was a sickening hospital-like odour in the house...
It scares me.
Cuddles
Cuddles is an aged Labrador... She belongs to a friend. Rather she was inherited by a friend after her father passed away. Cuddles was her father's dog. Well actually, her father's friend's dog. So now Cuddles grows old with little love or affection and is a reminder of so many memories that aren't wanted. And while there is the sanitary 'taking care' that is done to care of her... the truth is, she isn't really wanted. She wasn't by choice. But now they cope with her. They aren't bad people at all. In fact, quite the opposite. But she just doesn't happen to be what they wanted... and they don't have a choice. So, they cope.
I've felt sad for cuddles.
Chinna Patiamma
Chinna Patiamma just celebrated her centenary birthday surrounded by family and friends in October. She is a cynosure of affection for her family. She is active, extremely positive in her outlook, vibrant and so so so affectionate. She refers to me as one of her own grandchildren. In typical fashion as most elders in India she blesses me every time she sees me... We chat and laugh. I tease her about her 'fashionable' haircut and how we should go out together sometime...
I can't fathom how she does it. She's over a 100 years old!
Uncle, a friend's dad
He lost his wife early this year, suffers from acute diabetes, has a few toes and a foot amputated, has very limited sight, needs dialysis twice a week and so many more health issues... But he is one of the most vibrant and happy people you will ever meet. He exudes confidence and charm. Every time you meet him, he has fascinating stories of his travels around the world to tell you about and several insights into everyday life. He smiles from within. And even through all of his health issues, he is the rock that gives his children emotional support. When you meet him you feel such a strong sense of purpose and general amazement at life that it cant help but leave you inspired.
I really like spending time with uncle...
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If ever I am a withering old man, alone under a rain tree... i hope i sit there smiling and surrounded by love.
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