So, i've been told many a time that i'm a fabulous actor. I've also been told many a time that i can't hide my emotions. I wonder if these both come from very different facets of myself... or are they the same side of the coin. The word actor is derived from 'one who acts'... hence by definition, a skilled actor pretends... or does the fine actor actually feel emotion to such an extent that he emotes naturally, the method actor...
The 'actor' in my life has always been a pretender...
Increasingly I've been finding that in various situations in my life, the actor has to come alive. In fact, on so many occasions we all act. But the scary thing about acting isn't the fact that one is often pretending... the scary part is that eventually one begins to fool one's self into believing the act...
Ever told yourself, 'ok, stop it. get over it and be happy.' Pretty soon, someone cracks a coupla jokes, or something funny happens and Voila! your giggling and finding yourself feeling warm again... On the other hand, if you sometimes just decide not to 'let go' of something and want to stay angry, it's amazing how everything that happens will stress you out n piss you off...
so basically what i'm saying is that you can often fool yourself into feeling a certain way. I've used this sometimes to deflect pain. I tell myself things to make me feel better and deflect the issue. In other times, i tend to distract myself... i'll watch a movie or go out or meet someone...
i guess we all do it.
sometime back, there was a time that i was really upset. When i told myself, i wasn't going to allow myself to feel that way or even show how i felt... i decided i would 'act'. That I would fool myself...
But I didn't really get very far... in that process of fooling one's self i kinda got scared cos i felt like i was actually losing the real me. I'm not sure i want that. The truth is for all of my rubbish, my insecurities, my failures and my sentimentality... I really like me.
:)
So even if the audience demands an encore... i hope the actor has only a small part to play.
The 'actor' in my life has always been a pretender...
Increasingly I've been finding that in various situations in my life, the actor has to come alive. In fact, on so many occasions we all act. But the scary thing about acting isn't the fact that one is often pretending... the scary part is that eventually one begins to fool one's self into believing the act...
Ever told yourself, 'ok, stop it. get over it and be happy.' Pretty soon, someone cracks a coupla jokes, or something funny happens and Voila! your giggling and finding yourself feeling warm again... On the other hand, if you sometimes just decide not to 'let go' of something and want to stay angry, it's amazing how everything that happens will stress you out n piss you off...
so basically what i'm saying is that you can often fool yourself into feeling a certain way. I've used this sometimes to deflect pain. I tell myself things to make me feel better and deflect the issue. In other times, i tend to distract myself... i'll watch a movie or go out or meet someone...
i guess we all do it.
sometime back, there was a time that i was really upset. When i told myself, i wasn't going to allow myself to feel that way or even show how i felt... i decided i would 'act'. That I would fool myself...
But I didn't really get very far... in that process of fooling one's self i kinda got scared cos i felt like i was actually losing the real me. I'm not sure i want that. The truth is for all of my rubbish, my insecurities, my failures and my sentimentality... I really like me.
:)
So even if the audience demands an encore... i hope the actor has only a small part to play.
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