Tick Tock.

Since everyone likes a story…here’s one.

I’d been waiting for ages for a raise and opportunity I’d totally deserved. I do hold a key position, one that’s very dear to the company and am considered a stakeholder (well I consider myself one as well…in many ways, I feel like it is my company), I hadn’t been getting a 'salary' (do note that that is different from ‘wealth’ generation in the long term) that satisfied me. But then again, as a stakeholder, one must make sacrifices in the interest of the Company performing to reap benefits later.

I’d put in a lot of hardwork, effort and time. But it just didn’t seem to be happening the way I wanted it to. The raise I’d gotten felt like a pittance, but as my boss explained, “it wasn’t a reflection of worth, but merely a ‘sustenance’ fund”.  But that wasn’t the most important thing, the kinda work I was doing was frustrating and random (even if it was sometimes important work, it felt random). There were times when one felt like one was floating… watching life pass by. I wanted a change. I was ready to be thrown into the deep end of the pool. Again.

I needed a challenge. I needed something with potential.

Then one morning my boss called me to his house (we share a very ‘Yoda-Padavan’ type relationship) and presented me with an opportunity he was thinking about handing over to me. A big one. But things didn’t seem to move on that even though I’d completely given my consent. I continued to wait. 

Frustrated.

Then, one afternoon they called me into the boardroom and presented me with another opportunity. This time I said I’d like to think about it. The next day I said yes. This time, they were seriously gonna give this a try. Now, my pay was to be restructured. But again, I’d to think about how much to earn as a salary since this was a new business and making it work was gonna be my responsibility. They wanted me to propose a business plan and salary. So, hesitantly I did. And then waited. And waited. Impatiently. Tempted to ask , but somehow restrained myself.

One evening, my new boss (I now have 3!) walked by my desk on his way out and casually asked if it was “OK” if he paid me just a miniscule amount less than what I’d asked for. I happily said yes. I’d finally gotten a salary that gave me a tiny bit of financial room… more money to send home, possibly move to a larger place, get a cook, live like the 30 year old I am about to  become etc… good news.

And a challenge lies ahead. (((Yay!!!))) But given the nature of the challenge, I’m back to doing what I hate...

Waiting.

So, as I’ve confessed before, patience isn’t a virtue.

But funnily, life over the last year or so has placed me in various situations where I’ve had to attempt to exercise it. Well, at least if I wanted things to go well… or well, even just play out.

At work, I’ve had to slowly yet surely demonstrate enthusiasm while having very little focused work to do. In my personal life, I’ve had to restrain myself. I haven’t been very good at either. But I’ve tried. Well, sorta. With the stuff that mattered I tried. Wasn’t very good, but I tried.

(I hate saying I tried)

In fact, I’m not patient with most things in life. I can’t seem to tell the difference between ‘seize the day’, chutzpah, and “all we have is now” to “go with the flow”, “the right time will come” and calm.

Even the tiger crouches in wait…

But whenever I’ve managed to be patient, it’s always given me a lot of happiness. Especially since I’ve sorta pulled through or helped someone else pull through something. I guess that’s why they sometimes say ‘good things happen to those who wait…’

So maybe it’s all about timing.

Yet to every saying lies an antithesis. So maybe, it’s all meant to be… no matter when (remember that scene from 'Om Shanti Om'? No? click this )…

That’s the funny thing about life…

You never know. And then suddenly, you do.